Amazing Christmas Eve visiting the cottage in winter for the first time. Merry Christmas! (at Kawagama Lake)
calls from exes.
i wish i could figure out what i’m feeling right now. but she broke my heart and i couldn’t tell her i forgave her. i wanted to tell her that i thought about her all of the time and that i had no idea how to fix it either. that i handled it wrong too. that i still loved her.
but i was in shock.
and she fucking broke my heart.
I wish I could say I feel better now that the exam is over but truth be told I’m still terrified. I’m not sure how but I was completely unprepared. Worst of all, I was over prepared for Anatomy. Which I suppose, as my weakest subject was for the best. But Biochem and Physio left me dazed…I feel like I knew nothing. Oh my. I can’t stop myself from fearing the worst. From fearing that I actually managed to blow this exam and get sent home without a next semester. I need to work harder. Every day. I need to speak out loud and know these concepts like the back of my hand.
I didn’t do good enough. I will do better next semester. I think I need to actually make a couple of friends. Find a couple of dedicated people to study with, to keep me on track, and to push me.
I need to do the same in the gym. Isolation hasn’t done me well the way I thought it would.
I have a gameplan for next semester, should I get the opportunity. My heart will be broken if this was all for nothing. I can’t help feeling distraught at the thought. I just need the mark so I can function. I feel so helpless.
Why is it the only days I have photo worthy hair I’m stuck indoors cramming for an exam?
I think I came to the realization today that i really, really need a coach. blah.
Is it weird that I have longer relationships with men than women?
When it comes to holding onto bffs I feel like the phrase “Maybe you’re the problem” really applies to me
"Scotland" by the lumineers
This song gives me chills